You confront this guy a third time, desperately searching for the hat validation that since childhood you’ve been told you need. And yet like so many cartoon female dogs, you only have eyes for some generic nobody who can’t see how freaking fantastic you are. Eastman draws all dogs more or less identically. The female-to-male dog ratio in this book is totally in your favor so why are you selling yourself short? Admittedly this is like the world’s most pathetic party, but in fairness they seem like nice guys.įorget this dude who isn’t into your hats! It shouldn’t be hard-he is so completely and totally forgettable because P.D. All of whom seem single, ready to mingle, and possibly capable of empathy. I found two dogs in a house on a boat in the water and three dogs at a party on a boat at night.

Without even looking I found some big dogs and some little dogs going around in cars.

If you’re seeking approval because you’re itching to be in a relationship right now, know that there are other fish in the sea and, more importantly, bazillions of other dogs in this book. OMG, WHAT IS HIS ISSUE, RIGHT? SCREW HIM AND HIS DUMB SCOOTER AND HIS HALFHEARTED FOUR-DAY-LATER FOLLOW UP TEXT MESSAGES. Just because someone owns a bowler hat doesn’t make them the Tim Gunn/Bill Cunningham of the dog fashion universe.Īnd not only does he shut you down once again (“Do you like my hat?” “I do not like it.”) he literally steals the feather out of your hat as he rides off on his scooter. Celebrate yourself! You are awesome and unique, like that dancing eleven-year-old in the blonde wig from Sia’s Chandelier video, only a dog version! Ignore the hat-based norms of the dog universe and wear what makes YOU happy. I want you to take this in, hat-wearing female dog, lest you spend the next 15 years of your life trying to impress someone who is not worth your time.

Who is this guy anyway, some sort of dog hat expert? Who cares what he thinks? Wear a hat you love and if he doesn’t like it? F*#% him. “Do you like my hat?” “I do not.”Īnd you don’t even know me, but I wanted to take a minute to tell you that what matters is that you like your own hat, hat-wearing female dog. Momentarily distracted by the humdrum parade of big dogs, little dogs, black and white dogs, I watched as you walked in, brimming with joy and confidence, and looked on as some total nobody, indistinguishable from most of the other dogs in this book, crushed you with his subtle rejection. I bought your book to help my son learn prepositions and adjectives and was, from the first read, inexorably drawn in by your heart-wrenching struggle for approval.

Go dog go book dr seuss